pushing my buttons

i'm not sure how to blog on this today but i want to. I'm experiencing giving fatigue today. I'm tired of serving people today.

This obviously has me quite conflicted considering that's what discipleship 101 is all about. It's not that i don't see how Christ has given himself for me. i do. I'm just feeling like there is a pattern emerging in my life. Simply put its that i am somehow responsible to serve everyone around me... and that's it.

Monday evening Shiloh got sick again, so we decided to let everyone sleep in on tuesday. At our house that means 8 o clock. so we got Abi up and ready for school. while she was getting ready i went outside to dig out the cars.

Now my 1976 snow blower had recently come back from the shop but it was buried behind the vehicles. So i started shoveling the end of the drive so i wouldn't get stuck pulling the cars out. My plan was then to take the snow blower and if it worked (it hasn't been all that faithful) and clear the driveway.

Abi was already late for school and i had an appointment at 10. so while i cleared the end of the drive i made meaningless conversation with my neighbour's sister who was clearing their driveway too.

I got the cars out and Abi still wasn't outside so i started the snow blower. It started! i took it for a pass. the snow must have been heavy (or my snow blower sucks) cause it would only throw the snow about 2 feet beside the blower.

It became clear to me that i wasn't going to get the driveway done before i had to get Abi to school and get to my appointment.

So i got abi put her into the van which was now parked on the street, pulled up beside my neighbour who was still shoveling.

i explained that i had an appointment at 10 but that after that i was coming back to finish my driveway, and that if she didn't have anywhere to go she could leave the rest of her driveway and i would finish it when i finished mine...

she said, "I'll do it myself... It's a little late"

i know there is a much larger story behind the look on her face, and her words and very little of it if any at all has anything to do with me at all but that doesn't mean it didn't sting.

truth is i have been seeing that attitude a lot lately. It's the attitude that says, "you exist to serve me and you're not doing a very good job doing it lately".

There's something about entitlement that ruins benevolence.

the worst part of all this is that the more i think about it the more it brings to the surface my own feelings of entitlement.

and i'm not sure i'm comfortable with the idea that if you don't expect anything from people they won't disappoint you.

it's tricky stuff.

I see all of these kinds of things eroding my faith. Not capital F faith. just lower case f faith. I know whom i have believed, but all this stuff has me wrestling with motives lately. It says everything that does not come from faith is sin.

but i serve people out of expectation all the time. but i tell you. some days i want do what i want to do and not do what i don't want to do.

i can see that's a dangerous road.

i guess what all this means is that i'm still too influenced by the expectations of people.

so that's why i'm journalling here today. trying to quiet the voices that pull at my life till there is only one.

something pleasing to hold onto

1 Tim 2

1I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone 2| for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. 3| This is good, and pleases God our Savior.

waking up

ok so last night my poor wife wiped out and landed squarely on her tailbone. needless to say she was a hurtin unit last night and i don't think she slept that well cause of it. so being the stupendous husband that i am, when the kids started calling this morning, i got up, turned up the filter (white noise) and let her go back to sleep.

problem is that Abi was complaining about feeling sick (through her little sister whom she has conned into hollering for her),

Shiloh got up and told me he wasn't feeling well either - he promptly chucked his cookies into the cereal bowl that we didn't get cleaned up last night and i got him to the toilet without a mess.

by this time Abi has informed me that she wasn't feeling sick at all just hungry.

i get shiloh emptied out and settled, call esther who has been wandering through the house at will, covered in pee, cause she leaked last night and didn't tell me.

so i get her out of leaky pj's and into bathtub for a bath and decide that i don't want to know where she has been wandering all morning.

i get her out of the bath and go to start on Breakfast. There are no dishes or cups cause my poor wife was on her butt last night through no fault of her own (really folks, i don't blame her for not having the cat like reflexes and agility of her husband. you know what they say, "the selfsame Spirit, dividing to every man severally as he will")

so i spend some time clearing up the table and counters, run the dish water, dig out some dishes for breakfast. go to get the shreddies that i bought yesterday for breakfast today and have promised the kids for their breaky, and both bags are split open down the side. so i have to return them.

i pour the cheerios to the chagrin of the kids and get to the dishes.

dishes are done, kitchen is clean, kids are fed and settled infront of their third parent (Kids CBC) and i'm down here thinking that i still prefer working up to agape instead of having to wake up to agape.

Operation Christmas Child

Esther and I filling up a shoebox for operation Christmas child.

Tech Corner

watching the snow storm out the window of Joppa

prolific

Darryl - Esther you're going to come with me this morning cause mommy isn't feeling well

Esther - why isn't mommy feeling very well?

Darryl - Cause mommy didn't get enough sleep last night

Esther - ... hugs could make her feel better.

Darryl - I bet they could Esther

halloween

this is the superhero pose

fun site

just found a super fun web site.

nice company

working at Joppa this morning with Esther

The music wasn't playing this morning

I was surprised with myself this morning. I woke up feeling fine but things quickly deteriorated.

Getting kids up and ready for school is often a challenge but today something was different. maybe that's not entirely true.

Lately i have been wrestling with the realization that some things are getting to me in a way that i wish things didn't.

I'm not talking about resentment of some of the stuff in my life. Jesus said in this world you will experience stuff. He said that stuff teaches you obedience, and stuff makes your grow. knowing Jesus comes through sharing in stuff. God allows stuff and sends stuff and i have no business resenting stuff.

it's that stuff has been getting to me in surprising places and ways. I've seen stuff before. (...thinking of all the different directions i could go with that metaphor... from stepping in it to watching a group of monkeys throwing it at each other...)

What i'm trying to say is that some days i expect it and manage or handle or navigate it better than other days.

today was strange. I got all hot under the collar about little stuff. little annoyances. not sure why.

but i know that it has nothing to do with the fact that the music wasn't on in Joppa this morning.

but the quiet made me notice that something was missing.

i once heard someone say that kids wear ipods all the time to drown out the noise of the jungle, which is this present day's culture...

IT didn't sit well with me cause I think that music is the soundtrack of this present day's culture.

I think life is a jungle sometimes - maybe all the time, and music is, for me at least, the soundtrack of life.

It inspires, it motivates, it adds rhythm to my movements,

it injects a little poetry into the monotony

And I noticed this morning when it was missing.

And now that i think about it some more i realize that there are a few things in my life that add poetry to the monotonous stuff. i don't want a life free from stuff. But this morning i was reminded that i need to make sure the right soundtracks are playing through it all.

... and the Barista turned the music on after just a could minutes of silence.

It is what it is. and it is a new day

And all the people gave a great shout of praise to the LORD, because the foundation of the house of the LORD was laid. 12 But many of the older priests and Levites and family heads, who had seen the former temple, wept aloud when they saw the foundation of this temple being laid, while many others shouted for joy. 13 No one could distinguish the sound of the shouts of joy from the sound of weeping, because the people made so much noise. And the sound was heard far away. Ezra 3

kickoff

Well the first pictures from our Fall kickoff are in.

I like this one cause it shows the scale of our whale.  All the shoes are remnants of children the whale has already consumed.

photos

"Esther, look at the green light... ya that green light"

The start of a full week

So it's kickoff weekend and that means my todo list is bigger than my week probably.

But i was still glad to have Ester with me at the Office this morning.

Off we go to Office #2

Sovereign

I was reading Ezekiel this morning and stumbled across a phrase.

"When this happens, you will know that I am the Sovereign LORD."

It reminded me how we slip into the delusion that the things that happen in our lives are somehow a product of our own efforts or our own deservedness, or our own positive thinking.

Now i realize i must work honestly and honorably in this life. That in that way i share the responsibility of my fate. Sometimes lazy hands make a man poor (Proverbs 10:4)

I also realize that if i think i can, there is a better chance of my caboose cresting whatever mountain is ahead of me.

But if i think i am blessed because i deserve it, i am deluded. If i think my life is blessed cause i did good or cursed cause i do evil. If i think that i can have whatever i want if i just believe, i have forgotten that there is a God who is sovereign.

Time and time again God acts to show us That he is, who he is, and what he is like and we miss it.

Today I'm going to look with more care, to see the sovereignty of God.

And i'm going to be thankful that the God who is sovereign is also the God whose love has no limits, whose grace has no measure, his power has no boundaries known unto man. And out of His infinite riches in Jesus, He gives and gives and gives again.

First Day of School

The day my kids have been waiting for for a long long time.

The first day of school has finally arrived.

three happy kids - all bearing the bruises of a full summer.

I can't wait til next year when Esther will join her siblings.

Worship Planning

Ok so we have a lot of people who are now part of the worship planning process at our church.  Worship Leaders, team members, Team Leaders, Audio Video people etc.  And while this affords us lots of help, it also means it's hard to keep track of who is doing what and when in order to make sure things don't slip through the cracks.

As i often do when i have a question about worship stuff i emailed Chris at Orangeville Baptist Church for help.

He pointed me straight to these guys!

What a great tool.  They even have a free subscription to get guys like me hooked.  I expect we will upgrade our subscription at some point cause i can already see how great this resource is.

This made my day.

Templates

ok so if you have been following me lately you will notice that over the last week or so i have tried about 7 different blog templates.

i just can't find the one i like.

i think i'll play with this one a bit.

not that you know which one this is but let me know if you like it...

Exercise ball replaces desk chair

I don't know where i heard about this idea. To use an exercise ball instead of a desk chair cause then you are strengthening your core stabilizing muscles all day long... All i know is that after just 2 days i can tell that under the 3 or 4 inches of jello is a rock hard 8 pack shaped bowl... and Bob Marley sounds way better now.

New Specs

ok so i went to that place where you get 3 pairs of glasses for the price of one.

I got some sun glasses and 2 pairs of regular glasses.

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone.  I can see all obstacles in my way...

and once again it is my loving wife.

So for the next month i want you to vote on my new specs in the sidebar polls.

Below are two pics of each pair.

if you like that pair vote Darryl

If you don't, vote Wife

Please vote for each pair as #1 and #2 ok?

specs 1



specs 2

Sing a new song

So i'm at the home office today.  My wife needed some help this morning so i'm working on the couch and the eldest two are outside playing.

I'm working on a draft outline of this sunday's sermon...

and my youngest daughter sits down beside me with her Whinny the Pooh hymn book, and starts to sing...

"Joy is the word of God"

What a wonderful distraction

One step forward, Two steps back

OK so I think i've turned a corner. It's now the third season of playing soccer in waterloo.  My fitness is slowly (italics mine) improving.  My statistics are improving.  My +/- ... might be improving.  But i think i've turned a corner.  When I started i knew my limits...  I knew when i was beat.  I knew that i wasn't going to catch up to the ball so i might as well not even try...

Last night i didn't get back when i should have and the other team scored... it was all my fault...

so i had to redeem myself.

so when i saw a ball going out i thought... i can get that....  if i slide....

So like a said.  I've turned a corner.  yeah,  the sacrifice your body for the game corner that i turned last night... yeah, not going to try that again.

I now know why they call it carpet burn.

Cloverfield

100_2614
Originally uploaded by Friar Buck

And this is where we hid when the other monster from outer space was attacking Manhattan.

blogging

i realized recently that i'm a little too casual about my blogging efforts.

i was reading the blog of an old friend. Her blog is nice. and contains in depth details about her life these days...

i just post pictures and the occasional video.

i didn't tell you about ...

ok.

it's because my life is boring

did God create committees?

well i'm sitting in an undisclosed location (the holiday inn) in Toronto at a meeting of the 2008 general assembly nominating committee....

i'm not really allowed to tell you anything more than that....

... not that there is anything to tell.

coming home

Click to Play

Curling 2008

This past Sunday was our 2nd annual "Curl for something" Community Building event. Last year we were raising some money to put roofs on churches in Guinea, and this year we were raising funds to put a chair lift in the church to make it more accessible to people with physical limitations. The event was a resounding success... though the curling left a little to be desired.

Click To Play

only visiting this planet

I got really bad news today.

the Godfather of Christian Rock passed away yesterday.

I was first introduced to Larry Norman at Camp by a long hair granola type.

all i can say about that is that it changed everything.

I never got the chance to see him live but Luana did.

I don't really know what else to say except to share a portion from his last email.

"I feel like a prize in a box of cracker jacks with God's hand reaching down to pick me up. I have been under medical care for months. My wounds are getting bigger. I have trouble breathing. I am ready to fly home."

I hope you'll take this minute and enjoy the legend one more time.

on becoming virgin

so every once in a while i get fed up with the man, with his spirit of entitlement and his lack of personal care.

so last week i got a bill from "the man" charging me a huge cancelation fee from when we abandoned him at christmas on my wife's behalf.

They tried to automatically sign her up on a new contract when her last contract finished. I called them up and was assured that it was no monkey business just an honest mistake and the mistake would be corrected.

so when my bill came and the monkey was still throwing his business all over me i was a little less than enthused.

they corrected their mistake but i still had a funny taste in my mouth.

so i asked him what the "penalty" would be for me to cancel prematurely and get out of my contract.

$^%.00 Unbeleivable.

but it's the principle that counts.

you see in just a few short months i will have saved just that much money having moved over to my new best friend.

Virgin.

Now making new friends can be difficult.

it has taken many days to get my number "ported" over to virgin from "the man".

My old phone continued to work until today... so i called them... and they said it should be all done today... and my schnazzy new phone should be activated today.

hope so. I hate the man... but i love having a phone...

breaking up is hard to do.

are you missing out?

second contact

Click to Play

It is what it is.

First contact

Click to Play

Galen was the first drop in to my recently redecorated office.

Retreat

Well it's been a long winter so far. I guess for that matter it's been a long spring too. Last week we awoke to a full scale flood in our basement. it seems our house couldn't take the amount of rain and thaw etc.

it's ok. we're cleaning up and we'll wash the carpet in a couple weeks...

but this week....

we're on retreat.

Every Year our district pastors meet to get refreshed and renewed....

and swim...

and eat.

I love retreat and we really do have some pretty good friends there now.

i am looking forward to seeing everyone.

maybe i'll post some pics next week.